If you can’t stand the Heat …

 

Matthew Bellamy’s Facebook page looked like pretty much anyone else’s before Thursday morning. A bunch of friends sent him gifts, won him money in Family Feud, or sent him pets in FarmVille. His most recent status update of more than a week ago was essentially a love poem to his girlfriend.

Then the Sandusky factory worker who turns 30 in December went to an Indians/Yankees game at Progressive Field Wednesday night. Wearing a Lebon James Miami Heat jersey.

Overnight Bellamy became the most notorious man in the world of sports.

The skinny: Bellamy and his girlfriend Wendy Sedlacek made their way around Progressive Field Wednesday night. The couple made arrived late, taking their seats in the bleachers in the second inning. Then they walked around the stadium for a few innings, taking pictures and talking to people, including the guys at ClevelandFrowns.com. In the sixth inning they made their way back to the bleachers. That was when, according to Bellamy, he was shown on the Progressive Field scoreboard. The crowd began booing.

From there, YouTube videos show the couple surrounded by empty seats at the well-attended game as fans pelted them with some empty and some filled beer cups and obscene chants. An usher came to check their tickets. Soon after Bellamy and Sedlacek had a police escort right out of Progressive Field and into infamy.

Then Bellamy’s Facebook profile exploded, as some of his 1,500-plus friends chimed in. The first message regarding the incident came around noon on Thursday, when a friend wrote, “Where (sic) you at the Indians game last night?”

Oh, yes, he was.

Even Bellamy’s online friends were divided over whether he should have worn the LeBron Miami Heat jersey. A long discussion on Bellamy’s most recent status update, confirming it was indeed him in the jersey, found people both angry at LeBron but saying Bellamy had guts for doing what he did.

Most everyone who isn’t his Facebook friend doesn’t like him one bit.

Bellamy is unrepentant. In interviews with local news stations Bellamy talks about the incident. He appears a bit unnerved despite his defiance. His newest Facebook update from late Thursday night tells people to say what they need to his face.

Well, they did at Progressive Field Wednesday night. And here’s what Bellamy had to say to some questions God Hates Cleveland Sports asked him through Facebook:

1) Where did you get the jersey? Gift, you get it yourself, or what?

“I bought all three jerseys. A guy I work with has them for sale!!”

2) Did you burn your LeBron Cavs jersey before you got the LeBron Heat jersey?

“Nope, have all his Cleveland jerseys still, as well as some high school jersey. I’m just a fan of his, love him, and I won’t turn my back on him!!!”

3) Did your girlfriend dump you yet, or is she standing by her man? (I am assuming she is your girlfriend.)

“Nope we will always be together, she’s always got my back, thanks.”

4) You were wearing an Ohio State hat, so at least you don’t completely hate Ohio. What would you do if you were at an OSU football game and some guy showed up in a Michigan jersey?

“Yes that was an OSU hat, it matched, and I always will love all Ohio sport teams. Its painful but i love them, actually last year I was in Michigan at the game all decked out in OSU gear, face painted and all!!!”

5) How many Steeler jerseys do you own?

“Not a Steelers fan at all, hate them with a passion!!”

6) Did you think you would get the reaction that you got? Was it scary?

“Was expecting some boos but wasn’t expecting the level it was taken to, scary at times but over all hilarious, I mean, really, get over it he’s gone. Does Cleveland ever hold talent!!”

7) Who was worse to you, the Indians fans or the Yankees fans?

“Indians fans by far were worse. We need and deserve a winning team. Maybe we wouldn’t be so bitter.”

8 ) Did the police offer to let you stay if you took off the jersey or moved to another spot, or were you gone the moment they got involved?

“They moment the officers came, I was gone, and totally disrespected by everyone, including the cops.”

9) I just told two people who didn’t know what happened about what you did. One said, “That takes guts.” The other said, “People from Sandusky are mentally ill anyway.” Which is true?

“I will wear what I want, nobody else’s opinions matter to me. If I let what other people said get to me, I would get nowhere in life.”

10) Why did it take til the 5th inning for the fans to get on your case? Were they slacking off?

“It took that long for people to get some beers in them, and muscle up.”

11) Will you be taking your jersey to South Beach, or anywhere else? Will you wear it to any more Cleveland events, like, say, the Heat/Cavs game or lunch with Dan Gilbert?

“I’ve already contacted a buddy that works and the Gund (note: It is now The Q.) I will be at the game and will continue to support LeBron. If Cleveland would have made the right moves or sacrifices like the Heat did, he would still be here.”

12) Do you even like the Cavs?

“Love the Cavs, love the Indians, love the Browns, it’s just painful to watch at times. We will get so close but yet we’re so far away, they will mess up a wet dream.”

13) Is there anything else to do in Sandusky besides come up with plans to piss off an entire city’s sports fans?

“Cedar Point and the lake that’s about it. You don’t have to like me but don’t hate me cuz I’ve done nothing to hurt the people.”

Bellamy seems a little shaken by his night at the opera. When I spoke with him through Facebook chat, one of the first things he said to me was, “I apologize.” But he is also clearly unrepentant. I believe he’s more upset over things that his girlfriend went through at the game than anything he went through. He appears to be the kind of guy who has his convictions and stands by them, come what may. Whether he was actually trying to provoke a stadium filled with nearly 30,000 people or just trying to show his support for his favorite player is up for debate. Clearly not everyone shares Bellamy’s opinion of LeBron.

In the Cleveland Frowns post, Bellamy was quick to point out a scar on the back of his head that he says came about from being mugged and pistol-whipped in Sandusky. His own bio on his Facebook page says, “I just love having a good time, I’m not right in the 4 head so i’m good for a laugh.” Perhaps the two are related. After Wednesday night, everyone can agree on that middle part. The laughs? That’s for you to decide.

Nothing left to lose

Here’s the irony: Cleveland sports fans actually expected to win a championship this season. Can you believe that one? We actually thought we were going to win it all. We convinced ourselves that 45 years of heartbreak were going away in another month. LeBron plus Shaq equals NBA title. It was going to finally be all ours. 

God must be enjoying a hearty laugh after this one. Probably his biggest laugh of all. 

Really, how could we have let ourselves fall into this trap? ESPN rolled out the Cleveland Sports Heartbreak Montage on cue tonight, with the announcers even apologizing for showing it. But there it was again, playing peekaboo, jumping out at us just when we thought it was going away for good. This has become such a cliche that it’s probably on file for all sports broadcasts, even Vancouver at Montreal hockey games. Its a misery cliche.

The Drive. The Fumble. The Shot. The Mesa. Now add The LeBromination to it.

What a disaster.

Judging from most people’s reactions it’s not just another sports season that’s been put to rest. No, Thursday night’s playoff elimination at the hands of the Celtics was a eulogy for the entire city of Cleveland.

And based on previous storylines, maybe they are right. Many say the Saints helped save New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, with this year’s Super Bowl victory putting the city back on its feet. The storylines for Michigan State’s basketball team’s run to the Final Four in Detroit two seasons ago was said to be cathartic for that city.

If sports can save a city, can they also kill it?

LeBron James means more to the health of his franchise than any other athlete. If he leaves the Cavs, they become a lottery team playing in front of less than 10,000 people per night. A perpetually kicked-in-the groin fanbase will turn its back on the team. Dan Gilbert will lose millions. The Cavs have always been the third wheel of Cleveland sports, relevent only for a few years in the late ’80s and early ’90s and again during LeBron’s career. Should he leave, it means the team loses the best player it will ever have. It will be years before the team recovers, if it would even be able.

The Indians have sunk to sad-sack levels. The Browns were on the verge of fan mutiny last season and look mo better for 2010. And now the Cavs have collapsed two straight years after posting the NBA’s best record.

Forty-five years of heartbreak boiled up with the Cavs’ loss to the Celtics. Forty-five years of anger rose up with the LeBromination. We were all witnesses once again to yet another Cleveland sports disaster.

And this one feels like a backbreaker.

Lack of fan support is a LeBromination

 

It’s the elbow, stupid.

It really is.

Ever since Tuesday night when LeBron James and company looked like the Star Wars crew at the end of The Empire Strikes Back – beaten, defeated, ready to give up – Cleveland’s best athlete has been taking a nationwide pounding. They’re calling him a quitter. They’re accusing him of throwing Game 5 against the Celtics. They’re saying he can’t wait to get out of town and join the Knicks.

Heck, we’re calling him those things right here in Cleveland. We should be ashamed. Ever since he received his first Cavaliers jersey, LeBron James has been nothing but positive toward the city of Cleveland. He’s carried us through some dark moments and given us our greatest hope for a title. And now in his darkest moment, when he’s trying to play through an injury that would probably sideline him for weeks if this were the middle of the season, Cleveland fans are abandoning him. Instead of supporting LeBron, we’re abandoning him.

LeBron is not quitting on the team or the city, folks. The answer is really quite simple. It’s the elbow.

Remember the 2008 AFC Championship game between the San Diego Chargers and New England Patriots? Chargers superstar running back LaDainian Tomlinson sat on the bench wearing a parka most of the game, his expression hidden by his tinted face mask. New England won the game. He was heavily criticized after he left the game, especially when it was revealed Charger quarterback Philip Rivers played with an ACL injury that required surgery and several months of rehab. Even though Tomlinson gave it a go at the beginning of the game, sitting on the bench away from his teammates has overtaken his legacy.

Now, LeBron is doing the opposite. He’s trying to avoid the LT2 legacy. LeBron is gutting it out and not making excuses. Instead of praise ala Willis Reed of the Knicks starting Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals with a torn leg muscle, our reaction has become a LeBromination. Because LeBron is masking his true feelings, we think he doesn’t care. It’s 180 degrees the other way.

We know this because LeBron has been telling us this for the last couple of weeks. It doesn’t exactly take a Doc Jensen dissection of Lost to figure out what’s keeping Cleveland from its championship hopes this time around. Yet no one’s reading between the lines.

It started after the series finale against the Bulls on April 27. LeBron gave us the first hint of what the future held with this postgame comment:

“It bothers me because I don’t know what it is. Hopefully it doesn’t continue to bother me. But I’m not concerned. Cleveland fans have nothing to worry about. They have no reason to panic. I don’t think it’s that serious.”

That quote was LeBron’s big mistake. He told Cleveland sports fans there was nothing to worry about, which would be like Greece’s president telling his country’s citizens that the current economic meltdown is like being 10 cents short for the pop machine. Tipoff is enough reason for a Cleveland sports fan to panic. LeBron’s elbow falling off? Worse than Terminal Tower toppling over and flattening The Q. Still, we believed him because we need something to believe in. False hope will do.

Reports quickly followed about an MRI that revealed no damage, and another that merely showed a strain. 

After the Cavs struggled against the Celtics in Game 1 of their playoff series, we heard this from LeBron regarding his elbow:

“Throughout the game it loosened up. I have a no-excuse policy. This team has a no-excuse policy. … We’re about coming out and competing against the Celtics.”

 There’s the money quote. LeBron is not denying there’s something wrong with his elbow. He’s implying there’s something seriously wrong with his elbow. And he’s saying it’s not an excuse for his performance. LeBron is old school. He knows the game’s history. He knows the great players don’t hide behind injuries. They tough it out. And that’s what he’s doing. If you’re healthy enough to play, you don’t use your health as an excuse.

It certainly can be a reason though.

After being whipped by the Celtics in Game 2, this was what LeBron said about his elbow:

 ”I’m going to continue to try to be the player I am and not use this elbow as an excuse. I’d never use an injury as an excuse. It’s just two games. I understand the burden and the pain Cleveland fans have. I don’t feel pressure at all. I’m looking forward to Game 3.”

There it is again. The elbow is obviously a problem. But LeBron won’t use it as an excuse. He won’t even use it as a reason, even though it obviously is the reason why the Cavs are about to sink to the bottom of Lake Erie.

Then LeBron went out and whipped the Celtics from the start in Game 4. He scored 21 points in the first quarter and thoroughly demoralized the Boston crowd as the Cavs dealt Boston its worst home playoff loss in history, 124-95.

All that talk about the elbow? No big deal. It was probably just a little pain. LeBron wouldn’t let it stop him.

Until Game 5. After the convincing performance in Game 4, LeBron put up probably his worst performance in his biggest game. He looked disinterested. His jumpers were straighter than Fausto Carmona’s pitches. He heard the boos from the home crowd, all because his elbow doesn’t work right. All because he was trying to play through a devastating injury to bring the home fans what they so desperately want – a championship.

Now he’s being hammered from left to right like a soccer ball. What should be hailed as the most gutsy performance by the premier athlete in the NBA is being called a gutless try by a quitter. We should be praising the hometown man trying to bring the hometown fans what they desperately seek. Instead, we’re turning against LeBron because our previous relationships have ended so badly we can’t possibly believe he’s doing anything but quitting on us.

The quotes have become more obvious the last couple of days. The blog Fear The Sword claims that LeBron is playing with a torn elbow ligament that will take six to eight weeks to heal. A shot to numb the elbow helped him perform in Game 4, but that remedy is only available every 10 days, the blog claims. Then Plain Dealer Cavs beat writer Brian Windhorst tweeted this Wednesday:

LeBron also talked about elbow, hinting about plans, severity: “The elbow is an issue I’ll deal with in the offseason.”

So in ironic Cleveland fashion LeBron James has been accused of being a quitter at exactly the time he is giving his most to the team. At precisely the time LeBron is doing anything he can to help his hometown team to their precious championship people are claiming he is turning his back on us in order to head to the Knicks. At the exact moment that LeBron James needs his fans the most we are giving him the least support.

This truly is a turning point for Cleveland sports. It’s going to become the moment we as fans look back on with greatest shame.

There was always next year

 

There’s always next year, they say. They say it especially often in Cleveland, where usually there’s only next year. Our hopes go poof year after year, no matter the sport. Still, year after year battered and bloodied Cleveland sports fans get up, clean themselves off, and soldier on into the next season, the next sport, the next year.

There’s always next year, we say.

Until there isn’t. After Tuesday night, when the Cavs suffered their biggest home playoff loss in their most important game in franchise history, even next year looks like it’s been taken away from us.

The fallout from Tuesday night’s 120-88 at the hands of the Boston Celtics isn’t about a team with the best record in the league on the brink of being knocked out of the playoffs before the NBA Finals for the second straight season. It isn’t about the mystery of LeBron James’ poor performance and his subsequent indifference about it. It isn’t even about the last 45 years without a championship.

No, the fallout from The Debacle at The Q is all about next year. Or rather, the lack of it. It’s about the lack of hope. Because no matter what anyone might say, the reality is that the best player the Cleveland Cavaliers will ever have – heck, the best player that most people alive right now will ever see wearing “Cleveland” on his chest – might have played his last home game in his hometown. And if LeBron James leaves town he takes next year with him.

You could see it on Cavs owner Dan Gilbert’s face during Game 5. He looked like he had just watched his house burn to the ground. The rest of us felt like we’d just watched our dog get run over. Even Jose Mesa was disappointed in the Cavs Tuesday night.

What next year will we be waiting on if LeBron leaves after a second-round collapse against the Celtics? The Browns’ next year, with 35-year-old Jake Delhomme at quarterback? The Indians’ next year, after trading Cy Young winners in back-to-back season? The Cavs’ next year, with a team that can hardly win with LeBron having a bad game, much less without him even on the court?

Losing to the Celtics in the second round of the playoffs would be a kick in the groin, but that’s all it would be if LeBron were with us for the long run. We’ve suffered those before. But if LeBron skips town with next year in his back pocket, well, that could be a death blow to the Cavs in Cleveland.

Wait til next year? We’ve been waiting for it, ever since 1964. There’s been heartbreak along the way, plenty of it. The Browns have been stopped on the goal line of the Super Bowl. The Indians were a grounder away from a World Series title. The Cavs have already made one NBA Finals with LeBron and a supporting cast made out of balsa wood. OK, none of them have won the ultimate prize. But we’ll give it another go. We’ll wait til next year.

Wallowing in Cleveland sports misery used to kind of be fun. We’re all in this together. We’ve accepted the defeats over and over, knowing we could pick ourselves up off the mat to stare down the next blow. Even though our teams have been bad over the years there’s always been something good to look forward to. The Indians and Browns have crashed and burned over the last couple years, but we still had LeBron. Before LeBron arrived we were still hopeful about the Indians while forgiving the Browns their missteps simply because they had returned. When the Browns left town the Indians distracted us with some of the best teams in baseball. Pre-Jacobs Field we had the Cavs of Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, Larry Nance, and Craig Ehlo. And before the Cavs caught our attention we had Bernie Kosar and the Browns making runs that were stopped a goal-line short of the Super Bowl.

We’ve always been miserable, but we’ve always been happy. There’s been bad times, sure, but they always came alongside good times. Our stories were like those of people who lived through The Great Depression and called it the good old days. There was always next year – always.

Not anymore. Not if the Celtics beat the Cavs and LeBron leaves. Not if LeBron becomes LeGone. If this ends badly Thursday night – and the Las Vegas bookmakers have made the Celtics one-point favorites – then it might just end, period, for a lot of Cleveland sports fans.

Are you richer than a Cleveland Indian?

 

Nineteen of the 25 players on the Indians active roster as of Wednesday make less than a million dollars. (And this most assuredly won’t change if Luis Valbuena is shipped out before the Tribe plays again.) Meanwhile, this guy you never heard of just made more than each of those 19 players by playing a baseball video game. He did it by pitching the first perfect game on 2K Sports’ Major League Baseball 2K game. No word on if he did it against the virtual Indians.

Perfect embarrassment

 

When Asdrubal Cabrera meekly grounded out to Blue Jays pitcher Brett Cecil to start the seventh inning Monday night – the 18^th straight Indian to head right back to the dugout – who knew that the most embarrassing performance in downtown Cleveland Monday night would take place not quite 100 yards from the Progressive Field bleachers?

That’s what happened after the Boston Celtics opened a 25-point lead en route to a 104-86 victory over the “Hey, but we won 61 games this year, that’s got to count for something, right?” Cavaliers in Game 2 of the Eastern Conferernce semifinal playoff series at Quicken Loans Arena.

Not long after Grady Sizemore walked to ruin Cecil’s perfecto, and right about the same time Jhonny Peralta singled Sizemore home to make both the no-hitter and shutout disappear, the Celtics opened up a double-digit third-quarter lead against the Cavs. The home team never got closer than 10 the rest of the way, falling behind by as much as 25 with nine minutes to go.

Celtic point guard Rajon Rondo pitched his own version of a perfect game at the Q, dishing out a Boston-record 19 assists. So did washed-up forward Rasheed Wallace. He got up off the couch and turned in a nearly perfect shooting night, hitting 7-of-8 shots for 17 points in 18 minutes. In his first six playoff games this season, Wallace had scored just 21 points total. Yes, Cleveland fans, you still have to muster up the hate for Rasheed.

The Indians having a perfect game tossed against them, or a no-hitter, or even the combined two-hit, one-run effort Cecil and Kevin Gregg turned are expected outcomes in this season of 3½ runs per game.

But the Celtics shooting 47% on 3-pointers? Six Celtics scoring in double figures, including all five starters? Kendrick Perkins scoring 10 points and grabbing nine rebounds while missing just one shot against the Cavs’ big men? Mo Williams making just 1-of-9 shots? LeBron James playing as if he were more worried about lifting his right arm over his head than playing for an NBA title?

All perfectly atrocious.

A beer bottle thrown onto the court after Boston’s Paul Pierce rassled Williams to the ground will probably be the least amount of gripping Cleveland fans will do while waiting for Friday’s Game 3. There’s already caterwauling at Real Cavs Fans, a Brian Windhorst article advising fans to calm down (like that’s going to happen with nothing but the Indians between now and Friday to distract us), and a practice on an off day for the Cavs.

So enjoy the next couple of days, Cleveland fans. Maybe the Indians will get no-hit. Maybe a Browns player will get arrested. Maybe Cleveland will end up atop another list that no one likes to see.

Whatever comes between now and Friday’s Game 3, nothing will be more embarrassing than what happened in The Q Monday night.

Now everyone hates Cleveland sports

 

It’s not just God who hates Cleveland sports anymore.

Now it’s just about everyone.

According to a Nielsen Co. Internet algorithm, the Cleveland Indians are the most hated team in baseball. That’s right, the Indians finally ranked ahead of the Boston Red Sox, the New York Yankees, and every other team in the AL Central.

Predictably, New Yorkers are up in arms, claiming that the study doesn’t really rank which team is most hated. (We all know it’s the Yankees, unless Boston Red Sox fans count as a team.) It merely ranks “the correlation between positive and negative feelings generated by each team based on their starts to this season,” or something along those lines, Aaron Lewis, a communications director at Nielsen, told the New York Daily News. And who wouldn’t believe that a guy who could come up with a line like ““the correlation between positive and negative feelings generated by each team based on their starts to this season” is a communications director, and therefore correct?

The algorithm is a bit more complicated than the one Nielsen uses to determine how many people watched American Idol on a given night. It measures things such as online message-board posts about the Indians and the rest of Major League Baseball, as well as the stupid things former Indian Mike Bacsik says on Twitter, to determine which teams got mocked the most.

Most likely the algorithm just measured what the Indians’ own fans were writing about Jhonny Peralta. You can bet there’s not many other baseball fans talking about a team whose best player’s batting average has dropped four years straight. (That’s Grady Sizemore, unless Shin-Soo Choo has passed him.) There’s probably not much interest outside of the Cleveland area in a team whose designated hitter, Travis Hafner, is more of a designated whiffer with 17 strikeouts in 77 plate appearances. Who could imagine anyone west of the Mississippi – or heck, even the Cuyahoga – yapping it up about closer Chris Perez over beers?

During awards ceremonies there’s usually a moment for the winners to give thanks to those who helped get them to the top spot. So before the orchestra plays us out, let’s thank those behind the Indians’ hate ranking:

• Thank you to dgeneral, who wrote on the Cleveland.com message boards “Dolan death spiral has reached fever pitch. The misery of a Dolan ownership is a cruel cross to bare (sic) for Indians fans.”
• Thank you to skatingtripods, who on TheClevelandFan.com message boards wrote “Grady Sizemore blows.” Yeah, that probably scored pretty high on the Nielsen algorithm.
• And thank you to the Cleveland sports blogger, who have come up with names such as Cursed Cleveland; Cleveland Frowns; Mistake By The Lake; and Wait ‘Til Next Year, Again. Oh, and of course, God Hates Cleveland Sports.
• But most of all, thank you, Cleveland Indians. Thank you, Larry Dolan, for buying high when you should have been lying low. Thank you for not being able to afford to run a major league franchise. Thank you, Mark Shapiro, for trading CC Sabathia and Cliff Lee in back-to-back seasons while getting back a bushelful of players who don’t even look good on paper. (Lou Marson? Michael Brantley? Jason Donald? Really?)  Thank you for giving a three-year contract to a manager whose only previous experience was guiding the Washington Nationals to hundreds of losses.

Most hated team in baseball, and it’s not even a month into the season. Congratulations, Cleveland Indians! Looks like everyone else has finally caught up with God.

Be like Mike, but don’t be like Bulls

 
The Chicago Bulls are a lot more similar to the Cleveland Cavaliers than you might think.

Oh, no, not this year’s version. Not any version in the recent past, and most likely not any version in the near future. No, right now the Cavs are one of the NBA’s elite while the Bulls are a guest body on CSI. They’re just here to further the story along for our favorite characters, like LeBron James.

Yes, right now and for the foreseeable future, the Cavs are a 60-win juggernaut and a marketing dream. As long as LeBron James is here, that is.

Which is where the Chicago Bulls come in?

The Bulls are still viewed as NBA royalty. Because of Michael Jordan the Bulls are viewed as one of the NBA’s premier franchises, a team whose return to glory is only a matter of time.

Only problem is that outside of Michael Jordan, the Bulls don’t have a glorified past. Which means they probably don’t have a glorified future. Really, the Bulls have been an irrelevant franchise for much of their existence.

Consider: take out the Jordan era (1984-1998) and the Bulls have played 29 seasons. In only nine of those years did the Bulls finish over .500. Nine out of 29 years. With Michael Jordan? Six NBA titles. Without Michael Jordan? They haven’t even won six playoff series. The Bulls have posted a 4-14 mark in playoff series without Jordan, never winning more than one series in a given season.

Take out the Jordan era and the Bulls have a 1,027 – 1,318 won-loss record. That’s a .437 winning percentage. That equates to 35 wins per season. That’s irrelevancy.

What does any of this have to do with the Cavaliers? Well, before LeBron the Cavs were 4-13 in playoff series. Only once did they win more than one playoff series in a season. That was in 1992 when they lost to the Jordan-led Bulls in the Eastern Conference Finals. And, in the 33 seasons before LeBron James joined the Cavs they were 1,172 – 1,502.

That’s a .438 winning percentage.

The Bulls without Jordan and the Cavs without LeBron have exactly the same history.

Fortunately for Cleveland fans, the teams don’t have the same present or the same future. We hope.

Where Jordan and LeBron differ is their connection to their cities. Jordan had nothing to do with the Bulls before joining them in 1984, and virtually nothing to do with them since leaving in 1998. He was really nothing more than a hired mercenary.

Jordan was born in Brooklyn, grew up in North Carolina, and attended college at the University of North Carolina. He joined the Bulls only because the Portland Trail Blazers made the mistake of drafting Sam Bowie over Jordan in the 1984 NBA Draft. After retiring from the Bulls for a second time in 1999, Jordan came back to the NBA for a second time a year later, this time as part-owner of the Washington Wizards. Then he made his return to the court as a member of the Wizards for the 2001-02 season. After Jordan retired as a player for good after the 2002-03 season, he was fired from his management position with the Wizards. Now he’s back in the NBA as head of an ownership group of the Charlotte Bobcats.

Meanwhile, LeBron was born and grew up 40 miles south of Cleveland in Akron, has built a home between here and there, and has surrounded himself with his family and high-school friends since the day he arrived in the NBA. The only thing anyone can find to criticize LeBron about are his sports allegiances – he roots for the New York Yankees and the Dallas Cowboys, not the Indians and Browns.

Maybe the Cavs weren’t much before LeBron crashed the party. But they stand to be a whole lot while he’s here. That’s the other reason Dan Gilbert will do everything short of locking LeBron in the Q basement in order to keep The King here after his current contract expires. The Cavs are back to irrelevancy if LeBron leaves. The Cavs are back to being the Chicago Bulls if LeBron doesn’t sign a contract extension this summer.

And who wants to be the Bulls?

Scoreboard no longer just a word for another loss

 

Cleveland sports fans can’t stand prosperity, mostly because we’ve seen it about as often as Halley’s Comet.

Which is why we’re getting caught up in the drama of the Cavaliers’ first-round series with the Chicago Bulls rather than the games themselves.

We all know the Cavs are going to beat the Bulls. The real challenge awaits in the form of the Orlando Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals. Then hopefully after that in the NBA Finals. So it gets a little boring beating the eighth-place team in the conference. Will the Cavs win in a sweep, or will they lose a game in Chicago? It might not be edge-of-our-seats drama, but being Cleveland fans every time we look ahead we get whapped upside the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. Considering our past, it’s no surprise we are loathe to look to the future.

That’s why we get caught up in manufactured drama. Joakim Noah says our city sucks and there’s nothing to do. Well, grab those pitchforks and torches. We’re going to burn the man down. We’ll boo him while he puts up career-high playoff numbers in the second game of the series. We’ll write mocking articles about him. We’ll make him Public Enemy No. 1, or at least No. 6 after Art Modell, John Elway, Michael Jordan, Albert Belle, and Jose Mesa.

In reality, there’s only one thing we need to do — point at the scoreboard.

Scoreboard.

It’s a foreign concept in Cleveland. It couldn’t be harder to get from here to there if a layer of volcanic ash hovered over the city. Usually when we point at the scoreboard it shows another Cleveland loss. Top that with the fact that we worry LeBron James will be leaving us in a couple months and, well, scoreboard’s just another word for something more to lose.

This time, sports fans, you can say it with confidence.

Scoreboard. Score. Board.

Point at it. Puff out your chest. Don’t get caught up in the drama.

Joakim Noah provided both the drama and his best effort in Game 2. All it got him was another 10-point loss for the Bulls and a 2-0 series deficit. No way Chicago wins four of the next five against Cleveland.

But we’ve got LeBron James. And scoreboard.

Pig Ben could start season against Browns

 

NFL rumblings Wednesday morning have Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger receiving a four- to six-game suspension.

It sounds like he’ll get six games for being a douchebag, which could be reduced to four games if he stops being a douchebag. So the jury’s still out on if Pig Ben will actually be able to get that suspension reduced?

What’s it mean for Browns fans? Well, it means the Browns might entirely miss Roethlisberger when they visit Pittsburgh on Oct. 17 for the Steelers’ fifth game of the season. Or it means they could be returning for the very beginning of the Pig Ben Reunion Tour.

If you take a look at the Steelers’ schedule, it’s set up to accomodate both a four- and six-game suspension for Roethlisberger. In their first six games, the Steelers play all 1 p.m. games. Without Pig Ben, one would assume Pittsburgh won’t nearly be the national draw they are with the two-time Super Bowl winner at the helm of the offense. But if the six-game bans goes through, Roethlisberger comes back in a Halloween-night game against the defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints on NBC’s game of the week.

That one won’t hurt for ratings.

The Steelers two games following that are primetime affairs as well: Monday Night Football at the Bengals on Nov. 8 and a return to Sunday Night Football the next week against at home another premier team, the Patriots. Pittsburgh also has a Sunday night game at Baltimore scheduled for Dec. 5 and a Thursday night game on the NFL Network against Carolina two days before Christmas. Throw in a 4:15 p.m. game on CBS on Dec. 19 against the New York Jets, and you’ve got six out of the Steelers’ final 10 games set for national broadcast vs. zero of their first six.

Oh, and that Browns game on Oct. 17? It follows the Steelers’ bye week, giving them extra time to prepare for life with Roethlisberger once again.

So ladies, if you plan on going to the game in Pittsburgh on Oct. 17, don’t get drunk in a bar, or anywhere else Pig Ben might be. The NFL’s set it up perfectly for the Steelers. Roethlisberger can return after six games to a flurry of nationally televised broadcasts which will bring in boatloads of money for the NFL. Or, if he starts eating his dinner at home and praying before he goes to bed every night, he’ll get to return after a bye week at home against his team’s most bitter rival.