You thought the Browns could beat the Detroit Lions, didn’t you? They could AT LEAST beat the Lions, who generally look like they all just learned what a football was a year ago. After all this is a team that came into the game with one win in its last 26 tries.
You thought the Browns could hold a three-touchdown lead against the Detroit Lions, didn’t you? After all, this is a Lions team that had scored as many as three touchdowns in just two games this season and had scored more than 23 just twice in the last season and a half. Up 24-3 in the first quarter, you were feeling really good weren’t you? Admit it. You actually felt confident during a Browns game.
You thought scoring a franchise-record 24 points in the first quarter would be enough, didn’t you? A franchise record for points from a team that, coming into the game, was on pace for setting an NFL record for fewest points in a season should be more than enough to beat the Lions, right? Right??
You thought the Browns could prevent the Lions from driving 88 yards with no timeouts in the final 1:46 of the game, didn’t you? This wasn’t exactly Peyton Manning at the helm for the Lions. It was a rookie playing his eighth game. What rookie playing his eighth game not named Peyton Manning could drive nearly 90 yards for a winning touchdown? Heck, what veteran not named Peyton Manning could lead this kind of game-winning drive? It certainly wouldn’t be someone with a silhouette of a Lion on his helmet. No chance.
You thought the Browns could defense a Hail Mary pass on the game’s final play, didn’t you? Who wins on a Hail Mary pass anymore? Better yet, who commits pass interference on a Hail Mary pass? (Hank Poteat, put your hand down.)
You thought all this even though you’re a Cleveland sports fan, didn’t you? You sat and stared in disbelief as Matthew Stafford, that rookie Lions quarterback, threw a 1-yard touchdown pass to fellow rookie tight end Brandon Pettigrew on an untimed down to tie the game didn’t you? You put your head into your hands and groaned when Jason Hanson nailed the extra point on the final play of the game for a 38-37 Lions victory, didn’t you?
You did all this despite being a Cleveland sports fan and knowing the types of things that befall Cleveland sports fans, didn’t you?
What’s wrong with you?
You should know that only a Cleveland team could disappoint so greatly while falling to 1-9.
You should know that only a Cleveland team could allow the youngest quarterback to throw for a record-setting five touchdowns. Yes, Stafford surpassed Dan Marino and Joe Namath with his last-play touchdown pass.
You should know that only a Cleveland team could erase all the good feelings of Brady Quinn’s breakout four-touchdown, 300-yard game.
You should know that only a Cleveland team could score almost half as many points in one game as it had all season and still not score enough points to win a game.
You should know that only a Cleveland team would do this to you.
Cleveland — we’re not Detroit. Dammit.