Nuclear holocaust in Cleveland is just eight days away. Surprisingly it doesn’t involve the Browns.
No, we’re pretty much deadened to the fact that the Browns are going to get their butts whipped just about every time they step on the field — and that if they win it even Kanye West thinks it’s the worst game OF ALL TIME.
This bomb will wipe that and any other Cleveland sporting disgust off the map. Mark your calendar and head to your nearest fallout shelter, i.e., your man cave with flat-screen television, for Oct. 28. That’s the first day of the 2009 World Series.
That’s Cliff Lee against CC Sabathia.
If Sabathia does his part tonight and beats the Los Angeles Angels, his New York Yankees will have a 3-1 ALCS lead. And if the Yankees take a 3-1 lead, bank on Sabathia vs. Lee in the opening game of the World Series. And Game 4. And Game 7, if necessary. You see, teams with a 3-1 lead in the league championship series are 22-6 all time. That gives both the Yankees and Phillies a 78% chance of making the World Series should Sabathia pitch the Yanks to victory tonight.
Of course, Sabathia was on the last of those teams to blow a 3-1 lead. Clevelanders remember him losing to Josh Beckett in Game 5 of the 2007 ALCS, which started Boston’s comeback.
And to think, the Indians started the 2008 season with BOTH these guys and could barely scrape out a .500 record.
So mark Oct. 28 on your calendar. When game time rolls around settle down in your favorite easy chair, and get ready to sulk. Make sure you turn out the lights because it’s sure to be one of the darkest moments in Cleveland sports history.
To get you in the mood, here’s the stats of some postseason stats of some former Cleveland Indians …
Ronnie Belliard: .308 average, .379 OBP, 1 RBI, 1 steal
Casey Blake: .192 average, 2 RBI
Mark DeRosa: .385 average, 1 RBI
Ben Francisco: 0-for-4
Maicer Izturis: .167, 2 RBI, 1 SB
Ryan Ludwick: .333 average, 1 RBI
Victor Martinez: .182 average, 2 RBI
Manny Ramirez: .276 average, 1 HR, 4 RBI
Jim Thome: 1-for-3
Rafael Betancourt: 2.1 IP, 3.86 ERA
Cliff Lee: 2-0, 0.74 ERA
CC Sabathia: 2-0, 1.23 ERA
Charlie Manuel: one World Series ring